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Stupid questions they ask at an interview.

1. Can you tell me a little about yourself?

: Absolutely, I'm a writer, songwriter, poet, and lyricist. I’m broke and I don’t get along with my wife, and I owe four years of taxes.

2. How did you hear about the position?

: It was advertised online

3. What do you know about the company?

: Absolutely nothing.

4. Why do you want this job?

: I’m broke and I need to earn some money. My family is hungry, I go to the food bank, and I owe money on all my bills.

5. Why should we hire you?

: Because, I took the initiative and applied for the job.

6. What are your greatest professional strengths?

: Mostly in my biceps and quads.

7. What do you consider to be your weaknesses?

: Definitely my abs. Too much fat covering them.

8. What is your greatest professional achievement?

: Working as a Milkman delivering milk in Scotland. By the way, I’m being honest here. Greatest job I’ve ever had. I loved it so much. Did my first milk run at 5-a.m. came back to dairy for a full cooked bacon and egg breakfast every morning along with the owner and his wife and other drivers. Finished every day at 12-noon. In 1973 I was making £40 per week plus tips. I had Wednesday and Sundays off. It was a fantastic job. I miss it so much. There was so much freedom. I always ask myself the question, “Why did I quit?

9. Tell me about a challenge or conflict you've faced at work, and how you dealt with it.

: While working with Canada Post at the plant in downtown Edmonton. My superintendent commented as one of the women who had been overweight walked past. He said to me, “Look at that big fat pig” and then he laughed. I then told him about his slanderous remark which he didn’t like. The next day, I took the time and wrote a letter to the head office in Winnipeg. I knew that if I had reported it to management in Edmonton, nothing would have been done.

10. Where do you see yourself in five years?

: Either still writing songs and poetry or six feet in the grave.

11. What's your dream job?

: With guitar in hand, writing a song on a beach in California or Florida.

12. What other companies are you interviewing with?

: None, nobody wants to hire me. Maybe it’s how I answer their questions. On the other hand, quite possibly, because I’m now 64 years of age. Companies say they don’t discriminate, but they really do. When you’re my age, no one wants you, which I can honestly understand. After all, I’m not exactly a career person. Maybe I could be a greeter for Wal-Mart.

13. Why are you leaving your current job?

: I’m self-employed as a painting contractor and my knees are too sore.

14. Why were you fired?

: I didn’t like the manager’s attitude and I told him he was an asshole.

15. What are you looking for in a new position?

: To be allowed to exercise my talents.

16. What type of work environment do you prefer?

: A friendly humorous one.

17. What's your management style?

: #1is employee relationship. If you treat your employees with respect, they will do a great job for you.

18. What's a time you exercised leadership?

: While working with Canada Post at the downtown plant. Management were unable to prevent the employees from jamming the machines. They asked me if I could speak with them. Because I had a great relationship with the employees, I resolved the problem in a few minutes of discussion with the employees. Sometimes the employees would jam the machines if they were disgruntled with management.

19. What's a time you disagreed with a decision that was made at work?

: While I was working with Canada Post at the downtown plant in Edmonton Alberta Canada. It was close to Christmas and one of the women asked me for the Christmas tree that we had in our storage room. I asked the manager for the key. The manager said, “Go tell the woman, to straddle her legs over the mezzanine railing and spread her legs out and she will look like a Christmas tree.” I declined to do this. My manager came back later and asked me if I had told her. I said, absolutely not. I said, “I wouldn’t treat people like that.”

Later, I was called into the office for an interview and was told that I showed indifference to management style.

20. How would your boss and co-workers describe you?

: Canada Post management would say. That I was indifferent to management style. In other words, I didn’t slander everyone like they did.

21. Why was there a gap in your employment?

:Duh! I was unemployed, no job, out of work.

22. Can you explain why you changed career paths?

: In the year 2000, my 3-year old daughter was in hospital having surgery. I asked for special leave from management at Canada Post, they declined. This was due to the fact that I had reported management to head office in Winnipeg because of their slanderous remarks towards employees. I then went back and looked at my daughter lying on the hospital bed, she was crying. I went outside of her room and called management at Canada Post and told them that I was resigning, that my daughter was more important. They replied, “good”. That’s why I changed career paths and have absolutely no regrets.

23. How do you deal with pressure or stressful situations?

: I smoke Marijuana, just kidding. I go into my music room and smash one of my guitars.

24. What would your first 30, 60, or 90 days look like in this role?

: My first 30-days I would arrive early, after 60-days I would slack off a little, after 90-days I would be fired for lack of commitment.

25. What are your salary requirements?

: As much as you could pay, probably around $30 per hour to start.

26. What do you like to do outside of work?

: That’s a very personal question, do you mean while I’m in bed our out of bed. I usually play with my tennis balls; I’m an avid tennis player and play about ten hours each week in the summer.

27. If you were an animal, which one would you want to be?

: Probably a giraffe, this way I wouldn’t need a ladder to paint my upstairs windows. There again, my wife calls me a wild cougar.

28. How many tennis balls can you fit into a limousine?

1,000? 10,000? 100,000? Seriously?

: Not sure, I don’t own a limousine.

29. Are you planning on having children?

: No way, I have six already.

30. What do you think we could do better or differently?

: Create better interview questions.

31. Do you have any questions for us?

: Yes, why do you ask so many stupid questions?

End of interview, I didn’t get the job.

Now, that’s where honesty gets you.

By the way, the answers are mine. I hope you have a sense of humor.

Written by Chris Turner

April 19, 2018.

Questions courtesy of “themuse” online career website.

https://www.themuse.com/advice/how-to-answer-the-31-most-common-interview-questions

Charismatic and Pentecostal fakes

This article wasn’t written to turn people off Christianity, this was written to make people aware of what is happening in the church and has been happening for many years.

In addition, I never want to discourage my children even though they are older. As they all attend the Pentecostal church with my wife.

Heretical and sacrilegious practices have been around it seems, forever.

The number one culprits for sacrilegious practices and blasphemous events are the Charismatic and Pentecostal churches.

There is a massive deception going on within this movement, they think that they are all filled with the Holy Spirit, but they’re not.

Check out this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0Ii5T2qcsA

It is quite common among some fanatical Pentecostals within the churches; that they attempt to exclude other Christians when it comes to experiencing and having a direct relationship with the Holy Spirit. Have you ever been in meetings where the preacher ridicules other denominations for their lack of ‘The Holy Spirit? I have.

I remember when we lived on an acreage and as a family, we attended the local towns’ Baptist Church. During the week though, I was looking for an additional Bible study. I then went to a smaller town called Spruce Grove seeking another church. I found and attended the town’s Pentecostal Church.

They invited me to someone’s acreage for dinner and a Bible study. When I arrived, they asked me which church I regularly attended; I said the Baptist Church, they then said, “when did you start to backslide?” I was embarrassed as everyone was now laughing at me. Needless to say, I didn’t enjoy the bible study and I never returned.

Then you have the big joke of the Holy Spirit coming upon the people at the Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship.

They had people who supposedly received the baptism of the Holy Spirit then everyone starts acting weird.

I have been in a Pentecostal Church where everyone starts shaking and doing strange things, making weird noises, then all of a sudden, they have become holier than they were before.

The power of suggestion, loud music, and chants can be a very powerful thing.

I remember when living in Scotland when I was younger, I attended a Scotland versus England football (soccer) game. The atmosphere was electrifying, to say the least. 100,000 screaming fans made you tingle all over; you were caught up in the moment.

The chanting of songs, the waving of scarves, banners, and everyone singing at the top of their lungs, it’s a moment that you never ever forget.

It’s no different when you go to a Charismatic or Pentecostal gathering, you are anticipating an atmosphere, and they deliberately crank up the music, just to add to the atmosphere, just to make it a little bit tenser and more believable.

The musicians are aware of what they’re doing, they are instructed to do this, the way they play the drums, the repetitive singing of one song, getting everyone all worked up and eventually working the congregation into some kind of spiritual frenzy.

Watch this video and tell me they are not nuts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SgByE0pX1M

Pentecostals are just huge hypocrites, I know, my dad was one in the church he operated way back forty years ago. He always claimed to have this Pentecostal gift, yet, he was like hell to live with at home.

He hated and resented his four sons, we were never good enough, always, an embarrassment to his righteous church, which he told me by the way. He was ashamed of us.

He always hated my older brother, and then when my other brother got married, he wanted him to move to Canada because he married a girl from a poor area. He didn’t want her family coming around to our house. Therefore, he was happy when my brother also moved to Canada.

Then he told me that he was ashamed of me because of my long hair, and he would call me a tramp and said I would never amount to anything.

All these things about the way Pentecostals are just irking me, from way back then.

My dad told my mum, he said, “Whenever I die, make sure Ian; (my oldest brother) gets nothing of mine”. That’s how much he hated my brother.

Yet, my dad was a professing Christian, spoke in tongues. Yep! You may think that I’m being stoic or very resentful towards my dad; however, he just didn’t treat us right, or my mum.

I think of this scripture in Corinthians “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but has not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

The Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship, people were slain in the spirit, shaking violently, walking about on all fours barking like dogs, howling like wolves and coyotes, running up and down the aisles as if possessed by a demon, which they probably were.

Rolling all over the floor like idiots, making absolute fools of themselves, including God. Psycho laughing fits like people who were demented and lost their mind.

They were all wound up like a witchcraft ritual taking place.

What a counterfeit movement that was, so full of lies making people around the world thinking, that Toronto had some kind of special visitation from God.

Then all of a sudden, guess what, the Holy Spirit moved away, apparently, the Holy Spirit only came for a little time then left.

Things can even become more hurtful and spiritually confusing, where prophecy is concerned. Listeners have to basically take it or leave it and if they leave it, there may be fatal consequences. No doubt, many of you have experienced this kind of: “Thus says the Lord” or “The Holy Spirit told me”. Such words need to be carefully weighed before one utters them. They may influence other people’s lives in a drastic way. We have to exercise caution in this. Unfortunately, poor communication is sometimes a problem among Pentecostals.

Another point of concern is noise and the belief that the noisier one gets, the more Spirit-filled one is! Nevertheless, this foolish assumption has caused many problems, not only in inter-denominational relationships but also in relations between members of the Pentecostal churches. Pentecostals often criticize the non- Pentecostal denominations that they lack the direct experience of the Holy Spirit because they are too silent. Let us recall the story of Elijah as he waited for God to speak to him. God did not speak in the noise of the wind, in the violence of the earthquake, or in the fire. He spoke in a soft whisper (1 Kings 19:11-13).

Notice the above scripture that I mentioned in 1^st Corinthians 13:1-3

Notice that Paul states explicitly, that, if he speaks in tongues of men and angels but has no love, he is nothing! Love is a power. Love is a force. Love is the most powerful positive force, ---it has the power to prevent atrocities, undermine prejudices, build bridges, and bind us together.

If you don’t have that you have absolutely nothing.

I remember one evening at Central Pentecostal. They asked people if you want to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit, to go into the prayer room after the service. Of course, I wanted everything that God would give me. There were lots of people in the prayer room.

Deacons and elders along with their wives were praying for people. When it was my turn to go forward, I went to a senior couple whom I knew very well, as I used to attend a bible study at their home. When I went forward they said, “Just pray in tongues as we are praying and it will come to you”, I said, “No, I can’t do that, the bible says as the Spirit gives the utterance, not me faking it so it will happen”.

I was so upset and disillusioned with people whom I had trusted spiritually. Now I knew it was a fake thing, yet, I truly, truly believed it was for real, not anymore.

When these things happen to you, you become disgusted as to the realness of anything spiritual.

When I attended People’s Church in 1990 in Edmonton before I was married, we were all standing around in a group. This one person started talking about how he started and learned to speak in tongues and how he received the baptism of the Holy Spirit.

We were all standing waiting for his wonderful out of this world experience and testimony and he said, “When I started speaking in tongues I started saying, she rides a Honda, she rides a Honda, real fast, As soon as I started saying it real fast, I started speaking in tongues”.

I thought to myself, are you kidding. She rides a Honda real fast then you’ll speak in tongues. I thought what a load of hogwash. This was before I attended Central Pentecostal. Therefore, you can see, that with all these things, how I find it so fake, especially within the churches where I’ve experienced all this stuff.

I’m not saying the Holy Spirit is a fake experience, but it was in those churches and also in that Toronto Church. It’s actually quite disgusting that we behave this way as Christians. I’d now rather not have it at all. I feel so much let down by this experience that’s described in the bible, I thought it was something more wonderful.

Listen, all you weird Christians out there, get it together and stop being so darn fake, it’s really sickening to me, very discouraging, and more sickening to God.

I find going to church so superficial, I no longer attend church, and I have no time for it. My wife and kids attend a Pentecostal Church, I tried it a few times, then people started acting strange shouting out in the service weird things, then the pastor would tell him or her to sit down, as they were out of order. I said to my wife, forget it, I’m not going back.

If God hates me for it, so be it. I pray to God all the time, but He doesn’t come to me, I feel empty and alone, I’m doubting more every day, I’ve had lots of bad church experiences with so-called Christians it’s not even funny. Just so weird, I don’t need it.

I remember when my wife and I were married 25 years ago; we met in Central Pentecostal Church in Edmonton Alberta.

Prior to this, I had been divorced, people in the church gossiped about me because I had been divorced. The pastor at the time, Bob Jones who is now at North Pointe Church in north Edmonton, wouldn’t marry us; it was against his Pentecostal beliefs. Marrying us would contaminate his soul or his credentials.

However, they used to have an in-house pastor called Pastor Hodges who was originally from the Baptist Church, so Bob Jones recommended him to perform the wedding ceremony. It was okay for an old Baptist pastor to be sinful and marry us, as his credentials didn’t matter, it was as if his credentials weren’t as valuable as Bob Jones credentials.

You talk about hypocrisy. It was okay to get married in the church though; we wouldn’t actually defile the church, as it was just Bob Jones Pentecostal credentials that would be defiled.

When we had our first daughter, my wife wanted to have our daughter dedicated at the church, by none other than, Bob Jones. It was okay for him to dedicate our daughter from a corrupt divorcee family, but not to marry us. I’m confused.

Here is the confusing part; my wife’s previous common-law relationship wasn’t even questioned, why, because she wasn’t married, that is, officially. When she split up from her ex-boyfriend, they just went their separate ways.

The difference was, I had a divorce certificate, my wife to be didn’t divorce, and she just separated. Are you confused yet? I am too.

Here we have a Pentecostal pastor turning his back on us just at the time when we needed reassurance. Instead, he poured out condemnation on us by refusing to marry us. Yet, he would probably stand up on Sunday at church, speaking, and faking the baptism of the Holy Spirit. After all, you can’t be a Pentecostal pastor unless you speak in tongues.

When my wife and I returned from our honeymoon, I received a phone call from an older well-respected woman in the church. She asked me how we had enjoyed the wedding; I told her that we thought it went very well. I then continued telling her how pleased we were with the photographer as he was a friend of ours and the pictures were so nice.

Then all of a sudden she went on a rant about how he was a womanizer and how that she knew sordid things about him. Right away I said to her, “woe, woe, woe”. I said, “Hold on a minute before you go any further, he’s a friend of ours and if you have anything to say to him you should tell him to his face, not to me as I don’t want to hear it”.

The next morning she came down the aisle of the church and confronted my wife and me, she apologized and said she was sorry and that she shouldn’t have said those things. I told her, that it was a little too late, as she has now planted those thoughts into my mind about him. I told her that maybe she should think first before she starts gossiping about someone. I told her, that it’s hard to take back words once they have been said.

It makes me so angry even twenty-five years later, it’s so hypocritical. I am beginning to hate the Christian, religious church establishment for how they treat people, and how they gossip about one another.

Yet, we’re supposed to be Christ-like, what a joke.

I quoted this previously, but I’ll quote it again as I finish.

Notice the above scripture that I mentioned in 1^st Corinthians 13:1-3

By the way, I was in the process of writing a blog post recently, not this one, which ended up being too long. I’ve decided to make my other article a short novel instead. At the moment it’s at 10,000 words and I’m only half-way through.

It’s called: “Pissed off with Christianity” I should have it finished by the end of May 2018.

There is quite a bit about my dad and his illegal financial dealings within the church in England including theft where he worked at the I.B.M. in Scotland. Watch for it, I will update when it’s available.

I have been told by my brother that I shouldn’t be writing things about the family. I believe that I should, I believe that people have the right to know what’s going on behind closed doors.

Maybe if I talk about these things, then Christians will stop acting so flippantly within the church.

Written by Chris Turner

April 22, 2018.

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